“An insufferable teenage fish runs away from home. His father contemplates searching for him.”

“The story of how a police officer works through his PTSD and adjusts to his new robotic implants with the help of the sexy soothing sound of his oboe.”

“Two mob hit dogs go after a poodle who wrote a slanderous op-ed about their boss.”

“After a bunch of thugs steal his sweet car, Jerry spirals into a vicious rage eating depression. He gets super ripped for the sequel though.”

“After a witch turns her best friend into a dope boom box, Belle decides to enter France’s Got Talent. She crushes it.”

“Ryan Gosling plays a mysteriously appealing scuba diving guide who gets mixed up in some shady business. He has like 12 lines the whole movie. He also stomps a shark to death.”

“A young boy finds out who, and what, he is. Magic ensues.”

“One red-haired Scottish girl. One dance floor. One unforgettable night.”

“The story of a lonely cashier named Alen who yearns for something more. Something like eating astronauts.”

“A former astronaut finally wins the blue ribbon award on his 13th chick.”

“A boy finds a jewelry clad alien who speaks exclusively in aggressive yet well-meaning catchphrases.”

“The story of one man’s unhealthy obsession with his truck.”

“A waitress goes natural and rocks a fro. Later she becomes a princess for some reason.”

“A young man tries to win a girl’s heart with his new found bovine transformation skill. It doesn’t go his way.”

“A thief with a penchant for masks keeps getting caught in the act.”

“The pacific northwest version of Tarzan.”

“A disgruntled government employee builds a robo suit in his garage to help him stop the government he works for from getting any more work done.”

“After years apart two lovers are reunited, only to discover neither loves what the other has become. Produced by Adam Sandler.”

“The ‘gritty’ 2014 remake of the 80s classic. It’s pretty much the same movie, just with more sick tattoos.”

“When deforestation threatens his home, one feisty bear fights back.”