PARAPROSDOKIANS: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
#1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Think on that one.
Paraprosdokian #2 - for the day:
#2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
Paraprosdokian #3 - for the day:
#3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#1 is very true.
...and if only we could remember that when one of those arguments with one of those kinds of people starts....yes!
Paraprosdokian #4 - for the day:
#4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Paraprosdokian #5 - for the day:
#5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Paraprosdokian #6 - for the day:
#6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Paraprosdokian #7 - for the day:
#7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Paraprosdokian #8 - for the day:
#8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Paraprosdokian #9 - for the day:
#9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.